I also dislike Elvis!

Ok, here we go!

First up, Taylor Hicks singing "Jailhouse Rock." Oh dear. When he dances, he looks like a Sim fighting the urge to pee. The singing was okay, the song choice sucked. I love Simon - he hated it!

Oh crap - there are only four. Does that mean they each sing MORE THAN ONE ELVIS SONG?!?!?!? For the love of God, please no.

Up next, Chris Daughtry singing "Suspicious Minds." Hey Sarah! He's going to fuelerize your song! What's up with that jacket? Hey Randy, I think I want a dog named Chris! I guess it was pretty good. I was distracted by the sunglasses.

Third, Elliott Yamin singing "I Can Dream." I don't even know if I got the title right. I've never heard this song. I have a soft spot for Elliott. I think it's because he tends to come off as a bit of a nerd. YAY! Simon like it! A LOT!

Preview for tonight's House - Chase and House, both so cute!

Final singer of the first half, Katharine McPhee singing "Hound Dog" and "All Shook Up." Yay! I hate both songs! If we dump her this week, we can have all guys next week! Yay! You might want to get that itch checked out.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I want you and Taylor to leave. I think Paula's on drugs. I <3 Simon!

Beginnning Round 2, Taylor Hicks singing "In the Ghetto." Oh, for the love of God. Haha, Tommy Mattola told you not to dance! I can't listen to this song without doing my Cartman impression. That is not constructive criticism, Randy, that is flattery. Simon, stop using Paula's drugs - that sucked!

Here comes Chris Daughtry singing "A Little Less Conversation." So far Sarah's predictions are okay. Maybe Elliott and Katharine will sing "Kentucky Rain" and "Always On My Mind." I wish Chris was wearing a sparkly jumpsuit and sky diving in Vegas. What was with the screaming at the end? You sounded like you had a hairball. Paula looked like she was going to pop her head off.

So why is Seacrest wearing a three piece suit? Is he trying to steal my sister from apete?

Time for Elliott Yamin singing "Trouble." Elliott, please don't dance. Yay! They like you! Yay! Simon wants you to go to the next round!

Last, it's Katharine McPhee singing "Can't Help Falling in Love." Guess "Suspicious Minds" is the only Sarah song we shall here tonight! She just started and I am already dreaming of the end. Stop looking longingly at the camera! PITCHY! SUCKY! I hope they send you home tomorrow!