"Liveblogging" American Idol

8:00 - Blah, blah, blah.

Phil Stacey singing "Blaze of Glory"

8:04 - BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I hope you go home.
8:05 - I keep making the mistake of looking.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK #1)

Jordin Sparks singing "Livin' On A Prayer"

8:16 (?) - Eh. But yay, it reminds me of Michigan hockey games.*

(COMMERCIAL BREAK #2)

8:23 - It looked like LaKisha almost swatted Seacrest in the face. That would have been funny.

LaKisha Jones singing "This Ain't A Love Song"

8:25 - Jon Bon Jovi remains good-looking even though he's a jillion years older than me.
8:26 - No one wants to talk to Sarah.
8:28 - Why did Simon and LaKisha just kiss on the lips? What the hell? Flattery is good but kissing Simon is just wrong.
8:30 - Why is Blake's hair brown?

(COMMERCIAL BREAK #3)

Blake Lewis singing "Shot Through The Heart"

8:34 - There have been three votes for the return of beat-boxing.
8:35 - YAY!

Sarah (8:36:16 PM): he can do some impressive things with his mouth

Alfie (8:36:19 PM): HAHA!

Sarah (8:36:23 PM): (that's what she said)

Sarah (8:36:42 PM): he was cringing at the drums

Sarah (8:36:44 PM): it was weird

Sarah (8:36:52 PM): he sort of looks like your hobbit

8:38 - If Paula's imitation of Simon's mom is any good, I'm disturbed for two people. Paula and Simon's mom. Don't "dance" like that.

(COMMERCIAL BREAK #4)

Chris Richardson singing "Dead or Alive"

8:45 - I kind of want to watch Ghostbusters. This has nothing to do with his performance. I just do.
8:46 - I kind of liked it. Definitely more than Jordin's slaughtering of "Livin' On A Prayer."
8:47 - Why isn't Seacrest wearing a tie?
8:49 - Nicknames for Phil:

Marie - Stinking Rat
Lock - Nosferatu
Dad - Ben

(COMMERCIAL BREAK #5)

Melinda Doolittle singing "Have A Nice Day"

8:52 - What's with the keyboardist's hair?
8:53 - MORE COWBELL!
8:54 - Pretty good.

Sarah (8:53:54 PM): she's a better "rocker" than jordin

Sarah (8:53:59 PM): jordin didn't have the rock energy

Sarah (8:54:05 PM): she just sang - she didn't "perform"

8:55 - Judges loved it. Reminded them of Tina Turner.
8:57 - Recap time. NO MORE PHIL, EVER.

SEND PHIL HOME! Oh, you need to send two home? Send him home twice.

* I accidentally deleted the whole part about Jordin. Whoops.