CENSORSHIP!

Sarah: Oh, I'll be home for the Kentucky Derby! Did you know the Queen is going to be there?
Mom: *stunned silence*
Sarah: No, at the Kentucky Derby, not our house.

*later that week*

Mom: The Queen better get here soon. Marie's in her chair!
Sarah: She could sit in that chair.
Alfie: Why? You can't let the Queen sit in the chair you peed in!

Mom: A lot of people have sat in that chair since Sarah peed in it.