Ahem

Dear Jason Giambi,

Thank you for being the most amusing member of the New York Yankees baseball team. While the organization seems to have had luck making Johnny Damon not look like a neanderthal, they seem to have had no effect on you.

Your hair is kind of scraggly looking and my oh my, your uniform looked like pyjamas. Your teammates appear to wear belts, making their uniforms look like uniforms. You look like you're wearing some freakin' ugly pinstripe PJs. One can only hope they have footies.

A diehard Tigers fan,

Alfie