The reason why I am not going insane in college

My profs are nuts.

In my 9am class, every couple of weeks, we have a day where we draw on each other with Magic Markers. Yeah, we're finding structures on the human body, but it's still a little strange.

In my 10am class, I hear quotes like this:

Prof: I can't cancel class. If I cancel class, they win!
(the day the computer and projector wouldn't work, there were no markers to write on the dry-erase board with and someone seemed to be attacking the building, right outside our room, with a weed whacker)

Karl: It's the best part of class!
Prof: My taking roll is the best part of class? I must be doing something seriously wrong!

In my 11am class:

One day, my prof kicked me in class because we were discussing Beowulf and he started talking about how Beowulf wouldn't go looking for a fight with the dragon because it's stupid to kick a sleeping dragon.

Prof: Beowulf just wanted to get some....
Class: (starts snickering)
Prof: Glory! He just wanted to get some glory!

Pat: He may be seventy, but he's still like Superman!
(on Beowulf's advanced age)

Prof: If I think someone sounds Canadian, what the hell do I sound like?

Prof: Then why does he leave?
Pat: Because he's in love...and those people suck.
(discussing Lanval)

Dan: It's like if the nerd in the corner of your calculus class walks in with a supermodel and says "See ya later."
Jordan: But he wasn't a nerd. He had everything. Then he got more.
Pat: It's like if Bill Gates won the lottery. That would suck!
(still discussing Lanval)

Jordan: Uh-oh, she's really mad.
Prof: And it's just because I'm her academic advisor.
Jordan: Didn't you forget her name?
Prof: Shut up, I just paused.
Jordan: No, you forgot her name.

Prof: Gotta kill death, gotta kill death, gotta kill death, ooh, GOLD!
(discussing Chaucer's The Pardoner's Tale)

Prof: They generally save themselves for the right knight.
Class: (starts snickering)
Prof: Well, night too.
(on medieval romance heroines)

Pat: She's the devil. Seriously, she's the embodiment of evil. She's so small, I thought evil would be larger.