Thursday, June 08, 2006

I bet Sarah's glad she doesn't live at home anymore

I was watching the Detroit Tigers-Chicago White Sox game tonight and the commentators mentioned Mike Scioscia. As I am both a baseball and Simpsons fan, I felt it necessary to try and discover what happened to Mr. Burns's Dream Team from the episode "Homer at the Bat."

In the episode, the players were as follows:

Pitcher: Roger Clemens (hypnotised to think he's a chicken) - currently playing in the minor leagues
Catcher: Mike Scioscia (suffered radiation poisoning) - has been the manager of the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
First Baseman: Don Mattingly (kicked off the team because Mr. Burns did not know what sideburns were) - Now the hitting coach for the New York Yankees, no longer has a moustache, appears not to have sideburns
Second Baseman: Steve Sax (sentenced to six life sentences for every unnsolved murder in New York City) - now a financial consultant in California
Shortstop: Ozzie Smith (fell into the Mystery Spot) - inducted into Cooperstown in 2002, son Nikko was a contestant on American Idol
Third Baseman: Wade Boggs (unconscious on the floor of Moe's Bar after a fight with Barney Gumble over the greatest English Prime Minister; Boggs favored Pitt the Elder, Barney favored Lord Palmerston) - now a high school baseball coach in Florida
Right Field: Darryl Strawberry (played most of the game but was taken out so Homer could pinch hit) - arrests, divorce, etc.
Center Field: Ken Griffey Jr. (overdosed on nerve tonic, causing gigantisism) - actually still in the Major Leagues, playing for the Cincinnati Reds
Left Field: Jose Canseco (missed the game trying to save a baby, pets, household appliances, etc. from a burning house) - admitted to using steroids, implicated many teammates, no longer in Major League Baseball

I watched The Simpsons after the game. I was kind of hoping it would be this episode. It wasn't. Now I'm sad. :(